Monday, April 21, 2008

My GP must’ve been asleep when he gave me this referral.

I went to a dermatologist’s office today, in order to talk about a small benign cyst I’d like to have removed. I did the usual filling out of pointless information, and sitting around reading month-old magazines for my appointment which has been pushed back by half and hour, even though it’s only 9 A.M. I feel the poor guy whose appointment is at noon. He’ll probably be there all day.

I get called in and present my cyst.

“Oh,” she says “were you expecting me to cut that off? Because I don’t do that, and OHIP doesn’t cover that.”

“I know. I’m prepared to pay for it, I’ve done this before.”

“Oh, who’s your regular dermatologist?”

“Doctor Whitehead.” (A pseudonym of course.)

“Why didn’t you see him?”

“Because my GP sent me here?”

“Why would he do that?”

“Why indeed, doc. Why indeed.”

I guess the correct response is, because he’s not very good at his job. That’s why he’s a GP and not a surgeon. Oh wait, you’re not a surgeon either. Well never mind.

We both laughed it off and she gave me a referral, but you know, this was about 2 hours of my time I’m not getting paid for, nor am I getting it back. Bah, I probably would’ve wasted it anyway. And she seemed happy enough to have one patient in today who was in good spirits and did not have cancer.

Thank you, OHIP, for adding a step to my dermatological experience, and causing me to lose just a little bit more faith in my own general practitioner.


medical tourist said...

I bet 50% of all OHIP charges and consequently 35% of Canadian Taxpayer tax payments goes to inane charges that could have been avoided by taking the time to avoid them.

On a lighter note: Come down south! I have a respectable friend in the "medical" profession who can get rid of anything (or anyone) that don't want. And he's cheap too! He's got all his own instruments and makes his own anesthetics.

Anonymous said...

Dude, at least OHIP got your gender right. One clerical error and suddenly I was explaining to my Gynecologist that I am not in fact a very convincing trans-gender case. True story.
-definitely female ravens

dr. nick riviera said...

"...drumming up business..."

Inkpot said...

One of the most annoying things about Doctors, Dentists, Vets - whatever - is that no matter what time you make the appointment for you always end up having to wait, and the waiting rooms are all the same. Very depressing. I hope you get the cyst sorted out Mal, sounds like this visit was a complete waste of your time. On another note - how is your writing going? There hasn't been an update in a while.

Malice Blackheart said...

Al: I believe I know of this doctor. He’s a legend. I heard he once performed open-heart surgery with only a steak knife, school glue and a stapler. Oh, and his anesthetic was a great big mallet.

Ravens: Yes, I remember you telling me that story. You have to wonder about the very essence of administration when the people within the system will tell you you’re male because of what their file says, and not what the information in front of them says. “You think I’m a man, and therefore can’t have a pap smear? Try saying that to my tits and soiled tampoons, biatch!”

Inkpot: I’ve been a naughty little writer, and I haven’t been doing all of my homework, but there has been a bit of progress, just perhaps not as much as I’d originally forecasted. I read something in your blog about being accepted by that horror magazine. So, if I neglected to comment on your blog for some strange reason, congratulations. Sounds like good sinister fun.

Inkpot said...

Thanks Mal. :)