Haunted by Daydreams, Nightdreams, and Pipedreams Alike

I awoke this morning from a dream about N/A. She was doing a project of some kind, and I was there, and she was really angry to see me, and I insisted that all I wanted was to see her presentation. So she said I was allowed if that’s really all I wanted. But she never showed up for it, and I sat there with everyone else, waiting. Then, to my horror, I found out she took the opportunity, knowing I was across town, to visit my own home stab all my cats to death.

I was already terrified of ever showing my face around her again, but now I’m doubly spooked. Because though there’s a part of me that knows she would never do something like that, there’s another part of me that believes she hates me that much.

I’m also trying to figure out how to get a work visa for Hollywood, and it seems totally hopeless.

My friend, let’s call him “Al,” has been living in the U.S. for 5 years, and has two parents who are U.S. citizens, and even he is having trouble getting accepted, and is facing a 10-year ban from the country.

My aunt Twiggy, her daughter Twiggy Jr., and Twiggy Jr.’s son Boogers are visiting. (Boogers is a good kid, I’m just trying to be funny, and Twiggy the 3^rd gets too redundant.) Anyway, Twiggy Jr. and her husband and son live in L.A., and I did actually visit the place a number of years ago, and stay with them.

Anyway, I brought up my friend Al’s plight, and how she might remember his mom, (who worked for her great uncle for awhile), and his sister (whom I dated for awhile – that’s how our families became entangled in the first place), and all Twiggy Jr. could think about was how much she hated Al’s mom. Let’s call her Papaya. Twiggy Jr. hates Papaya. Not necessarily the fruit, though she is quite the picky eater, but definitely the person. Why does Twiggy Jr. hate Papaya? Twiggy Jr. claims Papaya “poisoned by great uncle against me, and he died hating me. She told him he’d already given me millions of dollars, and then though I was a liar for saying he didn’t.”

Twiggy Jr. also claims that Papaya said weird things to her like “rich Jewish bitch,” (unprovoked, I’m sure), and when Twiggy Jr. was pregnant with Boogers, “It must be a boy. I can see a tiny penis in your belly.” Now, this definitely sounds like the Papaya I know, you used to call her daughter “the whore of Babylon” right in front of me. But this is just Papaya’s larger-than-life way, and she was usually kidding, provoked, or just blowing off steam.

On another occasion, Twiggy Jr. said one of my female friends that stayed with her was a prostitute. This may actually be true, but I doubt either she or I could verify that claim. She just likes to gossip.

Anyway, I guess my point is that I’m feeling a bit discouraged right now. I guess I’d always figured I could go off to Hollywood when I was ready, but now I’m finding that if immigration even has the slightest reason to suspect you’re planning on staying, you can kiss your visa goodbye.

I haven’t heard from Pagan Girl either in five days. I know she’s been logging into lavalife though. (It keeps track of when every user was last on.) So now I’m of course wondering if I said something in my last e-mail to put her off, and I’m thinking of sending her a message saying something to that effect. I’ve already been called a creep by two women I was interested in over the past year. I think it’s affected me.