Thursday, August 14, 2008

What’s the Deal with Dog-People?

It’s amazing how often people will stop you in the street to talk to you when you have a dog. I, for one, resent this rampant, blind assumption that just because I’m walking a dog, that I’m one of those mindless dog-people who wants to baby these basically retarded abominations of nature, and talk about how lovely the weather is, or if it’s not lovely, how lovely it’s supposed to be later. It doesn’t seem to cross their tiny minds that maybe I’m only walking this dog because I absolutely have to, because unlike cats, they cannot be toilet trained.

“Oh, what a beautiful dog,” they’ll say. “Is it friendly?” They ask, so as not to be bitten when they reach for the seemingly mandatory urge to pet a strange animal.

“Why yes, the dog is very friendly. I, however, am not. Piss off.”

4 comments:

No! He's not friendly at all! said...

You don't have to toilet train cats!

Dog people are such social "leche-culs". Cat people are so much more interesting, what with the plotting and licking themselves and utter disdain for others.

Inkpot said...

You mustn't hate on dog people, they could set their dog on you! :)

I agree with you in a way. I don't know why people assume that just because someone has a dog that they are a nice person. The two things don't go together. I mean, Hitler loved his dog!

However, I do like talking to dogs because I have found them nicer and easier to understand than people. They generally want to be around you and are easily entertained, unlike most people I know. Cats are great too. When I'm feeling down my cats always come over to sit on my knee and give me a cuddle to cheer me up. They are very intuitive animals.

ema nymton said...

A jogger is running through the park when he stops to take a rest on a bench. He sits down next to a man, and lying at the man's feet is a dog.
"Does your dog bite?" asks the jogger.
"No," replies the man, so the jogger reaches down to pat the dog. The dog immediately bites him.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the jogger says.
"That's not my dog." replies the man.

Fainty McFainterstein said...

Doggone it all... why can't the world just have more cat fanatics?