Tuesday, December 30, 2008

You suck, winter! You suck!

I suppose it’s about time I made a proper update. I haven’t put out anything other than poetry in awhile. So, here goes:

I woke up this morning at like 4:30 and it was so goddamn cold, I couldn’t believe it. Now it’s 7:30 and my feet feel like icicles, I’m wrapped in FIVE LAYERS and I’ve been drinking tea and hot chocolate intermittently ALL MORNING. And I’m still cold. I HATE THIS PLACE! It’s not even January yet, and I already feel like I’m getting frost bite on my stupid feet! Why did I move back here? WHY!?! I HATE WINTER SO MUCH!?!

I’ve had the house to myself for a few days, everyone else is away in Toronto. I forgot to let the dog out before bed last night, so as a reward, she laid a great big steaming turd in the middle of the rug for me to clean up, and I DON’T WANNA!!! NOOOO!!!!! WAAAAAAAAHHH!!! It’s a good thing she’s cute, because man...

At every meal I’ve been giving Yeti (my great big Norwegian Forest Cat) this pill, and now every time he sees me, he slinks away. What’s HE afraid of? I’m the one that’s getting bitten! I’m getting bitten because I’m basically putting my fingers inside his mouth to pry it open. And you really have to throw the pill down his throat too, past his tongue, or he’ll eject it from his mouth. He also foams at the mouth like he’s got rabies. I sure hope he doesn’t, because if he does, no so do I. So Ema, when you see me at new years, and I’m foaming at the mouth and trying to bite people, throw a net over me and take me to the vet. Or just shoot me and put me out of my misery. Pills for cats – what a stupid concept.


Red said...

Good entry!
The wind bit me and slapped me around today; that bastard. Tomorrow evening I'm doing a race. outside. perhaps I have rabies?

Inkpot said...

I think it is cold over here and I know it is ten times worse with you, so I can sympathise. Talking about pills and cats - or should I say don't talk about them! - one of my cats also foams at the mouth as I attempt to put the pill down his throat for the hundreth time. I usually wrap him a blanket to stop him from clawing me to death but somehow I end up being entangled in it and his claws still are free to inflict damage. The vet gave me this gadget which is supposed to help pop the pill into the back of the throat, and stop you from being bitten, but for serial pill spitters it doesn't seem to work. Good luck with dosing and cleaning up after the animals. Pets are great, but they can be a real pain at times. :)