Thursday, June 4, 2009

To Wait, of not to Wait, for Rose

I originally wrote an extremely long entry today, but I’m going to sit on it for now – because it needs work. My American lit class has opened my eyes to something.

For now, I just thought I’d share that I just gave my cell number to Rose in an e-mail, and I asked for hers too, so we could arrange something, but this time, she read it, deleted it (which is usual), but didn’t reply (which is unusual.) She already said she wanted meet me for a drink, but now I’m left wondering if she changed her mind at the last second. I’m having a WTF moment, but somehow I wonder what else I expected, as this kind of things has happened so many times before – girls that I seem to connect with, but never bother to meet me – and for no apparent reason. Actually, sometimes they say it’s because someone died. I don’t even know what to say to that. I would think they’d reject me after meeting me in person. You can’t really know until you spend time with someone, right – and this is after we’ve already established we can carry on decent conversations without anything getting weird. Anyway, this doesn’t always happen, but it is frustrating when it does.

Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe she’ll call me tomorrow after all, and we’ll meet. And then maybe it will be great, or maybe one of us will feel compelled to spill our drink on ourselves and use it as an excuse to bolt. But I really don’t feel like waiting by the phone, just to see if she calls. Of course, it’s a cell phone, so really, it waits by me.


Shadowthorne said...

Hurm... you are not what your nick name embodies. You are actually a nice lonely person who is looking for company.

But I cannot judge you that well because we never had a face to face conversation (used to be a counselor in 'special' needs).

But hey, you are young and healthy. As the Malay saying goes - there are many more flowers (girls) and bees (guys) out there.

One hand clapping does not make a sound. So if you think that someone has doubts, just get the hell out of there. 1st impressions count a lot these days. :)

Malice Blackheart said...

You know, you're not much of a bad person either, Shadowthorne. Like me, you're the kind of guy who really only does and says bad things mainly to entertain others, not hurt them. It's just a big a facade.

Yeah, I'm sure if I work at it, I can pollinate some flowers this summer. But man, if you saw this girl, you'd know why I want exclusive rights to "bee" with her.

Shadowthorne said...

... if you only knew what I am and what I have done. Ermmm... But the facade helps, yes, by making people THINK I am harmless. Just a lot of talk and no sting. Makes my life easier committing crime. :)

Put some pics on your blog, man! I wanna see this Rose you wanna pollinate so much!