A Hymn to God, Who is, Well, Just So Much Better than Us Wretches, And I Thought He’d Like Even More Shameless Groveling.

O God,
Compared to you, I’m so lame.
I don’t feel worthy to utter your name.
I’m just very sucky, and you’re just so very great!
I feel so very lucky I can call you my mate!

Compared to you I’m small,
Smaller than a fly,
Smaller than a kitty to a six-foot guy.

Compared to me you’re big.
Bigger than house!
Bigger than a lion to a really small mouse!

Compared to me you’re cool.
Cooler than can be,
Cooler than ice, or iced tea.

Compared to you I suck,
Like a little leech.
I suck like sand-in-the-eye sucks, at the beach.

O Lord, we thank you,
For allowing our people to continue to grovel in your presence,
And kill one another in your name,
For thousands of years,
And for thousands more,
Our actions being their own reward,
As it is written.

You are a wise god.
And we all suck.

Amen.