Saturday, June 26, 2010

I Kissed a Girl / Awkward Moments

I can’t decide whether I had a shitty week, or an uneventful week. I feel like I lost a hero. For nostalgic reasons, let’s call him Big Daddy. Big Daddy was my hero in my teens and twenties, because he was a sort of city hero, filming crappy movies, but funny crappy movies, and he rapidly rose to stardom as a cult hero in the Capital City. Well, recently Big Daddy came down on Ema Nymton and me for reasons I already covered in a previous entry. We volunteered for him because he was our hero, and he and his little henchman the Hambuglar just spat in our faces. Yesterday I saw a made-for-tv horror he directed, and I must say, it was great. I would tell him what a magnificent job he did, and what a great movie it truly was, (I mean, I loved this movie!) if I didn’t think so little of him right now. The way he treated us has made him look callous, cheap, petty and small. But I’m not writing at this hour to report on that. He’s the loser in this situation, after all, which I’ll tell him when I’m good and ready.

Tonight I went to a party I’ve been looking forward to all week. It was a cast party for a short called “Spoon” that a pair of competitors from the 72-hour film challenge made. It’s about an awkward accountant who hires a first-time hooker, and their awkward outing to a diner the next morning. We all dressed up for the party too (I was an awkward accountant), the hostess was an awkward hooker and the host was a Shakespearean hobo. To see the significance of the costumes, you’d have to see the film. I’d love to show it to all of you, so I will when I get their permission.

It was a great evening and I made some nice contacts. I told my two former competitors about a sketch comedy group I want to put together. I think the host is perhaps the only man I know with the technical skill to pull off a David Lynch spoof. I met an actor who also looks just like Kyle MacLachlan, and both these guys completely LOVE Twin Peaks, so we went about the show for awhile, and we will talk more about it in the future.

As the party quieted down a little, we watched a movie called “The Room.” I must tell you, this movie is a great bonding experience, because it is absolute shit. It is easily the worst movie I have ever seen, and that includes “Decoys.” Do not watch this movie alone, and preferably not sober. Otherwise, this shitty movie could drive you completely insane. It’s that bad.

Anyway, the reason I’m blogging at this crazy hour is, as the title suggests, I kissed a girl. So what, you ask? Why bother telling you something so insignificant? Well, I don’t know if you noticed, but there hasn’t been much going on in my life romantically since 2007. Well, not outside my own messed-up head, anyway. That’s before I started this damn blog, which has, of course, been nothing but trouble on that front anyway. But this girl, or woman of 27 I suppose I should say, seemed to like me from the beginning of the party. We just had a very easy time talking to each other, even though we’d never met before. We sat next to each other through the whole movie, and, as she’d been drinking, she didn’t want to drive home, so she wanted to bus. I offered to drive her wherever she needed to go, so she happily obliged and stayed for the rest of the movie. Then I drove her to an all-night diner where she meant to meet some friends. I might also mention that throughout the evening, she kept mentioning how tired she was of this guy she kept breaking up with. Cliched, I know, but I found it endearing. After dating a girl like Karma Chameleon, I can certainly relate. Anyway, as I drove her home, we both discovered we were cat lovers, among other things, and then when I parked by the ESD to let her out she leaned in to thanks me, and I tried to hug her, but I realized her lips were coming towards me, and she said “kiss me.” So I did. And as I kissed her, I thought to myself, when is the last time I kissed a girl? What does this mean? Is it just the alcohol kissing me? How drunk am I going to get off this kiss? And then she smiled and said “I like you” as she got out. I’m not sure what I said as she got out, but I’m pretty sure it was something stupid like “I’m gonna definitely add you on facebook.” Talk about your awkward moment. I felt great, and like an idiot at the same time.

I really did feel a little drunk on the way home. Whether it was from the kiss itself, or the alcohol on her lips, I don't know. I asked myself how this happened. I suppose I invited it, but I didn’t ask for it, and I didn’t expect it. But I think I wanted it. I think the trick is to make her feel completely comfortable with me. Something I completely failed at with, say Nurse Betty or Scrapbook Girl, or any of those other losers I met on the internet. She was certainly comfortable enough to get into a car with me, even knowing I only have a G2. She’s gorgeous, by the way. Just gorgeous. I just hope she remembers this in the morning. At this point in my life, I’m prepared for anything though. I’ve certainly been conditioned not to expect much.

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