Sunday, June 29, 2008

Makeup Girl

Okay, so I finished driver’s ed, and you know how I mentioned there was this cute girl I wanted to talk to? Well, on the third day, I actually did, and I thought that on the final day of driver’s ed, (yesterday), I might casually ask her out for a coffee.

Of course, this plan went all to hell when she simply didn’t show up for the final day. So I improvised – and this is where you’re all probably going to think I’m a real creep. I waited for our instructor to step out for his hourly smoke break, and I quickly rooted through the test papers, and jotted her number down, finally putting everything back the way I found it.

I agonized over whether I should actually call the number for awhile, but finally I did. I wrote out a message first, hoping it might cover any contingency, and called the number, hoping for the best.

A man answered the phone, and at first he seemed a bit thrown off that I was asking for (her name… for anonymity sake lets call her Makeup Girl. Sorry, I’m a bit frazzled and lacking imagination right now.)

I asked him when she might be around, and he said “I don’t know, the end of the month,” which threw me, because it sort of is the end of the month, “she doesn’t normally live here.” So I asked if she had a cell phone or an e-mail address, and he said he couldn’t remember them offhand, so asked if I could leave a message.

So I then proceeded with what I had dreaded having to do most – leave a message with another person, and other people, I probably don’t need to tell you, are notoriously unreliable.

So I told him my name, and left my number, adding a note that “the best way to describe me is the blog guy from driver’s ed.” I told her about this blog, you see, because asked me about it, so for all I know, she is (you are) reading this. But I figure, you know, how often does someone randomly say they’ll check out your blog, or a particular book or movie, or pub, and actually do it? That’s not meant to be rhetorical, I seriously don’t know…

And I feel stupid because I didn’t even add to that. I didn’t even remember to tell him “what I want,” which is to “meet up for a coffee sometime.”

Anyway, Makeup Girl, if you are reading this, I’m sorry if I have (or if I am) embarrassing you. You just seem very nice, and I would really just like to meet you for coffee. And I promise I’m not some kind of psycho stalker, and I promise I won’t keep bothering you. Unless you want me to. I just wish I’d worked up the courage to talk to you a little more, and perhaps a little sooner.

And to everyone else, be honest, how weird and/or desperate do you think I’m being?


I've given your name to the authorities said...

It's being proactive. You've made your move and now it's up to someone else. Creepy would be if you kept calling back or hounded her out.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I was close to you when you were having this conversation with "make up girl", so I thought I would check out the blog you mentioned while overhearing.

First, that girl has a boyfriend, a stunning one at that, whom she lives with and is getting married to.

Secondly, I, as a girl am incredibly offended of how you chose to get her number. It is the DEFINITION of creepy/stalker. PERIOD. Any person calling this "proactive" is delusional. I understand that guys need to do what they need to do to put themselves out there, but amongst my girl friends, everyone of us, agrees that we would be creeped out.

Next time, don't be a chicken shit, waiting till the last possible day and then resorting to very, very, desperate, sad tactics to stalk this girl. Girls dig confidence, step up!

Better luck next time, stalker boy.

Creepy post!!! said...

Apparently proactive has changed meanings since my youth.
Stalker is someone who listens in on conversations then anonymously posts on blogs? Creepy!
Sounds like this Makeup girl had more than one admirer in the class he he he, and at least one of them is a jaded lesbian!
I bet if you used the same tactics(for getting the phone number and not stalking on blogs) to get anonymous' phone number she would think that it was so romantic.
Oh well, I guess the only thing left to do is undertake some chicken shit tactics and post anonymously on blogs until I find out who this angry maid is.
I really want to find out cause she just oozes class.

Creep said...

That's your comeback Malice Blackheart? Really, that's it?

Malice Blackheart said...

Cool, my first hate mail. Who is that, is that Jenna?

Who’s to say I need a comeback? Okay, maybe calling me “chicken shit” and saying my friend is “delusional” was perhaps a little offensive, not to say immature, but I invited you all to tell me what you think, and you’ve done that.

If you want me to justify why I waited until the last day to ask her out, well, it’s because I’ve come to expect to be turned down, you see. But this way, school’s over anyway, so we don’t have to awkwardly pretend to ignore one another for the rest of the day.

You seem to have a lot of anger. Are you jealous it wasn’t you that caught my eye? Because from where I stand, you’ve got no business being this offended. Taking the time to post on this twice would seem to indicate you’ve taken a special interest in me.

Anyway, I suppose I owe makeup girl an apology.

god's monkey wrench said...

I'll take it as a compliment that my erudite retort hath left the young maid speechless and bedazzled by my Blackheartian writing style.
Yo Mal. I say fuck the apology. There's no need for it. If you were interested and she was there you would have asked her, since she wasn't there I'm sure you would have checked the phone book or gotten her number somehow. If she's offended that you took the time to try to get in touch with her then that's for her to deal with. It's not like you're outside her window watching her apply her make-up.
Some people are just too defensive: you can take the horse to water but you can't stop it from shitting everywhere.
Maybe you should ask this angry girl out? Make the world a nicer place? Do your bit for the planet? Just close your eyes and think of the Queen and England?

I pity the poor lousy bastard/ette that ends up with that scorned human. Bitterness really makes life such a bore for everyone. *kisses!!!*

Inkpot said...

Hey Mal, how are things? Haven't checked your blog in a while because of laptop problems (all fixed now, thankfully!) so I've a lot of catching up to do. Wow, this post seems to have opened a can of worms. :) If you want my two cents, I think it was sweet what you did. I can understand why you waited til the last day to ask her for coffee and I would be very complimented if a guy went to those lengths to get my number. Long live those who are romantic at heart! :)

Inkpot said...

Hi Mal, I hope you are ok and I look forward to you up dating again soon. Are you suffering from bloggers block too? It is a dreadful affliction. :)

Malice Blackheart said...

Thank you, Al and Inkpot. I knew I could count on you. Yeah, I've had some writers block of late, but now I'm back with a vengeance.